我怀念的不是哪个人, 而是我那回不去的曾经...

Some people were supposed to walk into your life, teach you a lesson and then walk away.. Never regret about something that once made you smile. You are the reason why I became stronger, but still, you are my weakness.

I like to present myself, I miss our past. We met at the wrong time, but separated at the right time. The most urgent is to take the most beautiful scenery, the deepest wound was the most real emotions. If we can only encounter each other rather than stay with each other, then I wish we had never encountered.

Lesson learned: Never be dependent anyone in this world . Because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in the dark.

I always miss you ,so i miss you and finally i miss you..So i miss you so much now. :)

I am not emo..I am just too free and feel like having an emo post. An emo post doesn't mean that I am emo right now.

Cheers,

♥ ee wen. :)

所谓的朋友

我的朋友不算少, 中小学的朋友, College 的朋友, 大学的朋友, 还有些因某些活动或朋友介绍下认识的朋友...但是真正能聊起心事来的,就非那班从小认识到大的死党们莫属...

ok,跟这班死党们,真的什么事都能聊, 互相zat来zat去, 都不会有问题, 因为认识久了...知道大家早就习惯了这样的沟通方式..其实蛮多人会羡慕我们有这样一班一起吃喝玩乐, 一起废到极点的朋友... 有时真的感觉还蛮庆幸能有这班一起颠的朋友...

可是, 现实总是不完美的...或许是随着年龄的增长, 一起聚会的时间也越来越少...有的也到了外国深造, 所以一起聚会更是比较难的事...有时候约些朋友出来, 放飞机的放飞机, 找一堆烂借口推掉的也有些...总而言之, 约他们出来就好像在祈求神明一样, 要看他们的脸色/心情...一个字形容--“闲”.. 我不喜欢去求他们出来聚会, 可是有时还是会低声下去的去约他们出来... 有时场面还蛮尴尬的, 因为也会有没话题聊的时候... 说穿了, 今年都已经22岁了, 你们以为往后真的还有那么多的时间能聚在一起喝茶谈天吗? 别傻了, 现在约出来都已经是那么难了, 更何况是以后?

这么多年的朋友, 应该不会有什么争吵或误会的...可是, 偏偏最近这种事就是发生在我身上...一堆的误会, 一堆的猜测, 结果导致我们之间产生了误会, 说实在, 我并不会无缘无故的去误会某些事或人... 别人说我, 我解释一两次后, 就不会再去跟你解释这么多..因为我知道时间能证明一切, 我也没必要浪费那时间去向他们解释那么多, 所谓清者自清.. 真的是我朋友的那些, 根本就不会去误会,更 不会自己在那边说些有的没的.. 真正了解我的朋友只要向我求真事实后, 他们绝对不会再继续说些有的没的来伤害我, 因为这一切有助于破坏我们之间的友情... 曾经的我们是无所不谈, 吵来吵去是必定的, 而且还时常一起出去看电影或吃喝玩乐的朋友，现在你却因为某些事, 对我的态度开始改变, 说些有的没的来伤害我(或许你不觉得你说的话有伤害到我..) 就连回复信息也能感觉的出你在敷衍我...我无言........说实在, 我还蛮伤心的...

偏偏有些人或事都不是在掌握之中, 误会你的还是会继续误会你, 他们也有办法颠倒是非, 把一些没有的事说到真的有那样..我真的很无言..... 有时候, 我沉默, 不代表我默认...我只是懒得跟你们解释或辩驳..我没有那么多的闲情...

我这个人就是这样,大剌剌, 有话直说, 认识我的朋友都知道我的脾气和个性..说真的, 我不是在夸奖自己... 我是个很讲义气的人, 对朋友, 我是掏心掏肺, 两肋插刀的人...朋友有事, 我会毫不犹豫的帮忙...因为我深信朋友就是要掏出个真心对待的... 但如果你们对我不仁, 我也会对你们不义... 一辈子或许也找不到这么投缘的朋友了...所以朋友的事就是我的事.. 朋友对我来说真的扮演着一个很重要的角色, 我就是那种没有朋友会死的人!

朋友有很多种..成就你的朋友, 支持你的朋友, 志同道合的朋友, 牵线搭桥的朋友, 开阔眼界的朋友, 给你引路的朋友, 陪伴你的朋友...我这一生中隐隐约约有几个这样的朋友吧...我不求什么, 只希望我们的友谊不变, 偶尔出来聚一聚, 这就足够了.. 人生就不过是如此嘛...

ps: 没有emo, 只是突然有感而发...:)

future and career.

Wow, seems like my blog have been neglected for a long long time..haaa~

btw, I am having a tough weeks due to the final is around the corner plus the easter break is coming soon too. Everyone is busying and suffering for the final outcome because all of us was struggling of what exactly are we doing and what is this subject about.

To be honest, as a multimedia background graduated student, it is really hard for me to adapt the way of teaching at here. Moreover, the course that I am taking is Graphic Design. It's kinda hard for me to start everything from 0 and directly entry to the final year. I don't know anything about graphic design, the way they working to brainstorming idea and the way they produce their work. We used to created some beautiful artwork even tough we can't really present it well, but as long as our work can represent our idea and it is nice enough, that consider as a nice artwork. But, it was totally different at here. It doesn't matter if you can't create a beautiful artwork, as long as you can crap a lot and talk until how awesome your work is, then this is consider as a successful and nice piece of artwork. Hell, this is really killing me, because I duno how to crap!

Seems like not everyone know that there are no exam for design course. All we working is tons of small projects. That is our so called 'exam.' Well, people always thought that since there are no exam in design course, it should be very easy and wouldn't feel as stress as those who are studying medical and so on. But, this is totally wrong! Design course is not as easy as what people thought. Design is not about whatever you design, as long as it is nice enough, your client or the tutor will agree your idea. Doesn't means that the design you like is exactly what your client like.

That's why design field is quite hard for those who working as designer to survive. I was kinda worry about my future and career. 2 more months to graduate, I really need to think and plan for my future. Dad ask me to study master, but I think I can't really handle it. I knew it's a good chance and opportunity for me to study master, but even degree I already feel stress and almost give up, how can I handle master? I know it sure gonna be lots of thesis to be written for master study. I hate writing. I cant bullshit and crap for those thesis. I am not like those local student at here which are used to craps around. lol. I needed to thanks god if I can successfully graduated from my degree..lol..*finger crossed* and work hard. :)

life is so fragile

Received a message from my friend around 12.30am (uk time) that our friend's mum passed away in the midnight. She death coz of suffocate while on the way rushing to hospital. I am really shocked and down while heard this news. It's hurt every time I heard the news about death of someone around me.. Life is so fragile, we will never know what is going to happen on the next second, we will never know what are waiting us for the next...We should be thankful and appreciate every single moment that life offers... Stay strong and be tough my friend, we know you can go through this even thought it is a hard moment... we will always support you..

Rest in peace, aunty.. you will always in our mind..:,(

my blessed new year

ok, i know i am a bit too late for this update. But, who care..hahaha.. I just feel like blogging lo..*wink* So yea, I spent my CNY with my beloved family and friends. To be honest, it's really a bored new year...perhaps we are getting older, can't really feel the new year atmosphere. But still, need to thanks dad for letting me fly back to celebrate new year with them. :) I know they miss me a lot and so do I.♥

Thing never went smoothly when you are expected for something good happen. Yea, I was sick on the 4th day I back to Msia. Hell yea. I can't join for my babi gang gathering because of the sickness. sigghh. Yet, I still able to met up with my gals. The last time I met them is like half year ago..lol.. So,we decide to have a small gathering.. just four of us, too bad that others can't make it, because lot of them are going back to hometown for new year.

Nothing special happen in this new year..everyone is still the same.. The only thing change is the time of gathering between our gang had become lesser. Every time when we ask for drinking, a lot of them are giving excuse and refuse to come out have a drink. I duno what exactly happen to them..but all of us do feel that the time of gathering have become lesser and the friendship between us are changing too. :( Just like what my nini said: "经过时间的洗礼，再深再好的友情，都会有变质的一天..." this is so true isn't it?

travel alone for 6882 miles. carrying 3 heavy bags..it's killing me..

it's worth for travelling so long just to see them.

i love them. :) ♥

That night, daddy bought us to one my favorite restaurant 

for our dinner. Papa is ♥....awww...i miss all those dishes..

Im so satisfied with the dinner! :)

is yao char guai! yummy! I can't find any nice yao char guai in UK lo!

daddy know that I am craving for bak kut teh, so end up bringing

us for bak kut teh as dinner in the 2nd day. :D

I am a happy girl. weeeee~~

owh, I love this bubble milk tea. nice. But I still prefer

the bubble milk tea located opposite Sunway.

Meet up with the girls and had this bunny pic. haha. :D

Mummy is busy decorating the house for chinese new year.

is ah san birthday! A homemade birthday cake from me, nini & ah ngan

for her 22nd birthday. happy birthday my dear! :)

as usual, our drinking session.. haha.. talking non stop..

pattern liao liao.. that's our style..lol

Yes, is my darling cousin, my little notti princess. They are back to

Temerloh for new year. Look how cute she is? sitting on my bro and

watch movie together. haha. I like this pic! cute to the max!! ♥

ok, my sisters and cousin all are so 38..keep asking me to put on the nail polish..

I guess i need to charge them lo..hahaha

It's the reunion dinner! Mummy's cooking is always the best! Awesome!

the notti gal is tying up her hair...so notti~~wanna cubit her face..hahaha

Kid are queuing up for angpau~haha

mummy was waiting them to say something nice before giving them angpau..

hahahaha..the best one owiz is 祝你青春美丽~lol

is my cousin brother's birthday. What a lucky boy having birthday

on the 1st day of new year. (lunar calender)

Happy birthday jek kee! :D

This notti girl keep saying the cake is not nice, but end up keep eating!

hahaha! I want to cubit her laaa~~~issshhh

I always love to watch firework. Dunno why, it remind me of something

and people. haaaa..

This is really funny, all of us never play this before. kongming lanterns or chinese lanterns?

I don't really know the exactly name of this lantern in english lo..

All of us were so excited and keep on writing our wishes on the lantern..

hahahaha~~so 'sua gu'.. we are shouting while letting it get up to the sky! lol!!

I heart them. :) ♥

They are always the best girls in my life~

It's time for letting it fly la~~fly as high as you can la~~lol~~

mahjong session! This is always a must play game during CNY! lol!

I am so bek cek loo! the 1st time ever i got

4 'fei'! but end up 'small husband!' wada fark!!

I never play poker before. My very 1st time to try this game.. wuahaha..

Every year during CNY, there are always drinking session in my cousin house.

Their house are always the most happening 1 during CNY.

That's the babi that keep forcing me to drink drink drink! sei babi! haha

(ps: all the photos are grab from winchin dai gor..haha)

i ♥ this.

lousang arrr~

Mafia session at bob's house..everyone was laughing n shouting..haha

I wish the time will stop at the moment, so that I can stay at

my lovely hometown..

Still, I need to face the reality..im finally back to bristol laaaaaa~~sighh~

and yeah! I have move to a new house! look at my room!

a double bed room~so nice lo~I can just spent my whole day

sleeping and doing ntg.. wahahaha

bought a piggy from msia..so that i have something to hug

when im sleeping. :)

♥

im seriously fall in love with kinder beuno! ♥ a wide wide smile. :)))

♥

那阳光 碎裂在熟悉场景 好安静 

一个人 能背多少的往事 真不轻 

谁的笑 谁的温暖的手心 我着迷 

伤痕好像都变成了曾经  

全剧终 看见满场空座椅灯亮起 

这故事 好像真实又像虚幻的情景 

只是那好不容易被说服 的自己

借口又顶不住懊恼的侵袭 

好后悔 好伤心 想重来 行不行 

再一次我就不会走向这样的结局 

好后悔 好伤心 谁把我 放回去 

我愿意 付出所有来换一个时光机 

对不起 独自回荡在空气 没人听 

最后又是孤单到天明  

真的痛 总是来得很轻盈没声音 

从背后 慢慢缓缓抱着我就像你 

你和我 还有很多的地方 还没去 

为何留我荒唐的坐在这里  

好后悔 好伤心 想重来 行不行 

再一次 我就不会走向这样的结局

好后悔 好伤心 谁把我 放回去 

我愿意 付出所有来换一个时光机  

对不起 独自回荡在空气 没人听 

最后又是孤单到天明 

最后又是孤单到天明.......